When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
