the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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