dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
