I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
