I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
