she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
