I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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