.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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