Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
