Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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