...so i touched it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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