It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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