Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
