Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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