I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You smell like stripper and shame
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think your dad took our porno
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
