Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
