What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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