you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
