a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
