i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
