I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
