Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
