the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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