I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
