Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
