Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
