Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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