I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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