sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
