A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
