Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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