I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We had sex on a dog bed..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
