am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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