Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
