I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
