why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
