Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
