I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
