So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize