what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
