I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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