Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't turn off my feet"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
