what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize