I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
