i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
