I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When did angry sex become our thing?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
