so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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