you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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