just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
