i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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