Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
