so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
