so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
In America we eat man semen.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
