Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
