My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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