Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
