I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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