I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize