There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
