with your own penis?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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