I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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