Having a random hookup so left but love u
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
