Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize