When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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