ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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