Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
