OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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