Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
