Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
