if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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