Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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